Eragon Silverbutt
by Eternal Ending
Summary: Ya I needed a break. So I came up with a short complete mockery of Eragon. You don't need to read. It's funny but it has some sexual references. I just needed to loose all my hyperness and i think it worked. Done Eldest.
1. Eragon Silverbutt

Okay I don't own Eragon…or do I? jk.

One day, Galbatorix was board. So he told his shade Durza,

"Hey yo, can ya get me some elves? They're always fun to play with."

"Sure, but pleaseeee, never where those pajamas again." Durza replied, referring to Galbatorix's pink Barbie pajamas that cut off at the knee. Just the Galbatorix's evil black dragon came up. He was so scary. He was wearing a matching pink dragon armor.

"You got a problem with pink, punk?" He asked in his high squeaky voice, "Obob botskipee." And suddenly, Durza's clothes were pink. He frantically searched for some clothes that weren't pink, because he wanted to impress Arya on their date. But Galbatorix, as punishment for not keeping the dragon egg, put all Durza's white clothes in with a red shirt. And now everything was pink!

"Go now!"

"Yes milord."

Meanwhile, a group of elves were skipping down the path. One was a weak elf with brown hair and blonde stripes. He was the Emo one. One was overly buff. He was so buff, his muscles looked like fat. He was wearing a pink tutu and a bra. He wasn't gay, he was just the Cross-dressing one. And in between them, a super fat elf skipped. She was wearing baggy pants and a loose fitting shirt. She was the Tom-boy one. And together, they were better known as the Back Street Boys! They started singing. All the creatures around them started dying because they couldn't take it anymore.

Suddenly, in a puff of black smoke, there appeared twenty shadowy creatures with orange horns. In the center was a shade. He was dressed in all pink and his hair was pink.

The fat elf asked, "Dude, why's your hair pink?" 

"What?" said the shade. He pulled out a mirror he kept with him constently, looked at his hair and screamed, "Damn dragon! He went and dyed my hair pink!"

The cross dresser said, "I think it looks awesome."

"Really?"

"No."

Durza started crying and said between sobs said, "Get(sob)(sob) them!(sob)(sob)( sob)(sob)( sob)(sob)."

The three started singing and one by one the Urgals dropped dead. The Emo and Cross-dresser accidentally killed themselves with their own voices. Arya ran. The shade was right behind her.

"Don't move! Or you'll never see the coffee bean again." She said, pulling out a large, blue coffee bean and holding it near her mouth.

"That's not a coffee bean! That's a dragon egg!"

"Dang it!" Arya said. "The guy promised it was a coffee bean! Oh well. Kisth-opi-toi." And a flash of blue light transported it ten inches. "Opps, wrong spell. Kcus-ouy" AAnd this time, it went about 1,000 leagues where a god named Eragon lived.

"What's this?" Said the god in his divine voice. "A coffee bean? Just what I needed. I was out."

The "coffee bean," cracked open and out came a blue dragon. "No not a coffee bean, you idiot! Ride me! You're in danger." And it suddenly was a million times larger.

He swung onto its back. An icy sensation ran from his but, through the rest of his body. He yelped like a little dog. "Did I sit on ice?"

"No, you have the gedwey ignasia on your ass now. You were supposed to have it on your hand… oh well."

"Okay then."

They took off and flew to the field where Arya was. Eragon jumped off and started falling toward the field. Durza noticed Eragon's shadow was covering him and ran to get out of the way. The shadow followed! He ran all over the place, but no matter where he fled to, the shadow followed. Eragon smashed into him and he died.

Then, a dwarf ran up to him and yelled, "Long live Eragon, Shade crusher, Silver butt, son of…." To be continued.


	2. Murtagh Mhead

**I do not own Eragon, the tooth fairy, or this weird dwarf who happens to be Orik. Couldn't fit my fav character in here, but I'll try next time around. Okay? And yes, it's unintended that Murtagh is now M head.**

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"Son of… wait, who is your father?" The dwarf asked.

"I don't know."

"Okay, silver butt. Tell me when you do." And with that, the little dwarf disappeared with a puff of mauve smoke.

"…okay." Said fat Arya. "So, you want to get some dinner later?" she addressed Eragon.

"Nice try but…Never!"

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Meanwhile at the palace.

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A red egg sat, waiting for its rider. Suddenly a girl entered the room. She stepped over the red egg in the doorway. She was followed by a hot guy. They sat there, kissing.

"Man am I hot or what?" the man sat. The girl ripped off her shirt. "whoa."

"Defiantly not or what. Or I wouldn't be here." A large crack came from the door.

"Wow, Galbatorix should really get some towels." He commented as the fat king passed the door. He saw them and sighed.

"Young love…don't mind me. Just looking for Shruikan." He scratched his butt and left.

"Now, where were we?" the sexy man said. Suddenly, with a giant thrust, the tiny red egg exploded to reveal a red dragon.

"Uhh…I can come back, Murtagh, if this is a bad time…" the little red thing said, eying the girl awkwardly.

"Uhhh, ya!" Murtagh said.

"Okeedokee" the dragon said. And his egg miraculously flew back onto his hide. "Owe my spleen!" the dragon said as he was crammed back into the egg. One tiny piece stayed off so he could eye the action.

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Later, when Murtagh was alone, there came a loud boom. The egg hatched and before him was a massive red dragon. it quickly slammed into his head.

"Owe, I always thought dragons breathed fire!" he screamed as an icy sensation covered his head. He picked up a mirror which he hadn't even noticed he had till then. A large "M" covered it. "Cooleo, now I'll never forget my name, or at least the letter it starts with."

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Meanwhile….

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Eragon lay awake in bed. A blue poof suddenly filled the room. "I'm the tooth fairy." Said a fat over dressed grandma with a beard. The poof was followed by…

"**Hey!" A voice in my house screamed. Suddenly two gods named Eragon appeared. Some unseen audience began to clap. Eragon began to play with his luscious blonde/brown hair.(depends on which one you are talking about: the movie one or the book one)**

"**This wasn't how it went." Came another unseen voice. A pink poof appeared followed by a blue dragon. The unseen audience began clapping louder.**

"**Well, this is a parody." I explained.**

"**Ohhh.." they all said. The Eragons added, "Continue."**

another poof of mauve. "Dumb tooth fairy." They heard a course scream and when the smoke cleared, there was a dwarf dusting off his hands and the tooth fairy lay dead with a stake and golden bullet through his heart. "There, now that that's taken care of, I have a few things to say. One, you are Morzan's son."

"Cool!" the god exclaimed.

"Two, you have a brother named Murtagh. Three, he's coming to kidnap you… dun dun dun…" to be continued.

**Now, I think till the real number three comes out, I'll do parodies of other people's stories. If you want one, tell me what story and I'll do it. And I'll try to update more often, okay?**


End file.
